


My Whole Family Thinks I'm Gay

by NeutreTheAmbiguous



Series: A Collection of Celebrity/Internet Celebrity Smut [1]
Category: Celebrities - Fandom, Comedians - Fandom
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Bo Burnham, Drunken sex, M/M, Top John Mulaney, alcohol consumption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-01 05:00:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17860772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeutreTheAmbiguous/pseuds/NeutreTheAmbiguous
Summary: Trevor honestly thought a night out in a bar with some of his friends would be nice. Not problematic at all, right? Wrong. These friends are comedians and damn drunkards on top of it.He shouldn't have been surprised when John and Bo started to make out on stage, and yet he was. He drove them to their hotel room and prayed to God they wouldn't have sex in that room.God wasn't answering prayers that day apparently.





	My Whole Family Thinks I'm Gay

**Author's Note:**

> These are real people. Writing this series is low even for me, but here goes nothing.

 

     It was a pretty late night in New York City, a group of comedians out at a bar together. In retrospect, maybe this wasn't the best idea. Just like, 'Hey, let's gather a bunch of comedians together and give them alcohol!'

     Real smart Idea there, guys. Now, that's now to say that these men aren't completely capable or anything, I mean they all have their own Netflix specials, gotta count for something right? Eh, more or less. Either way they were stoned.

     "I'm really feeling like Mick Jagger right now, guys.." John laughed, sipping his drink.

     "Oh, oh, do the voice, do it!" Bo pushed his hair back, polishing off his third glass with a little breathless laugh, "I fucking love it when you d-do the voice."

     "Come on and humor the kid, Mulaney," Kevin chuckled, crossing his arms and leaning against the bar with an amused smirk.

     John laughed and took a deep breath, rolling his eyes, "Not! Funny! No! Not funny at all!" He put on a mocking Mick Jagger voice, the whole group laughing at it, Trevor sipping his water after being nominated 'designated driver.'

     "Ah, yes, never gets old," He sighed, smiling at John. Bo did the same to John, looking intently at him and giving him the same look a puppy would give it's master.

     "Oh, how bout you sing us something Bo?"

     "Like... On stage?" He swirled his new drink around in its glass, biting his lip as he looked up at John.

     "Hell yeah on stage!"

     John thought for a second, then offered something, "I'll do it with you."

     Bo perked up at the offer, nodding at stand up, drunkenly dragging John to the stage and flicking through the karaoke songs in the machine. "Oh! They have one of my songs, Muly! Fucking New York, am I right?" He gave him the most adorable giggle, John's stomach twisting in an extremely pleasant way at the sound. Bo tapped on the song, handing John a microphone and getting himself the other one, grabbing his hand and smiling widely at him. "I remember writing this one on like a twelve hour coffee high..."

     "You do?" He laughed, Bo suddenly getting attentive to the lyrics and busting out with a clumsily sung:

     "My whole family thinks I'm gay! I-"

     "- guess it's always been that way!"

     "You know it!" He laughed, John spinning him around and nodding.

     They continued on like this for a bit, their dancing gradually getting slower and slower, more intimate and in each other's space until John snapped at one line.

      "Even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay, motherfu-" John cut Bo off with a deep kiss, the younger yelping in surprise but melting into it and wrapping his arms around John's neck. John took this as consent to deepen the kiss, pulling the taller closer by the hips and nipping at his bottom lip. They went back and forth deepening the kiss until they were in the middle of a full blown make-out session on stage.

     "Hey, hey there you two! Save it for the hotel, eh?" He called to John and Bo, mostly John, and stepped onto Stage. Bo pulling away and panting, his hands wound tightly into the back of John's shirt.

     "Huh..? Oh... Oh! I'm sorry, Trevor." He laughed, hiding his face in Mulaney's hair with a good-spirited chuckle. 

     "Fine, just fine! Come on, I'll get you two back to the hotel." John hummed and nodded, following Trevor to the door.

 

~

 

     Trevor slid the key card down the slot to Mulaney and Bo's room, which they had chosen to share because they worked well together. That and they didn't have to spend the extra money for a separate room, so they chose not to. Either way, Trevor opened the door for him, sliding the key on a table in the room and leaving it, closing the door lightly behind him

     "Looks like we're alone..." Bo draped his arms over John's shoulders and looking down at him with a smile.

    "Oh really? I thought-" It was Bo's turn to cut John off, kissing him and pushing him back onto a bed. The older running his hands down Bo's sides as the younger straddled him, breaking the kiss to sit up and slip his shirt off. 

     John mimicked Bo's actions, unbuttoning his shirt and throwing it to the side. He closed his eyes when Bo leaned down and kissed him hungrily, hands tangled in his hair and hips moving against each other like horny teens. Much the same, they panted and moaned like horny teens, eagerly swallowing any sound the other made and groping at each other's hair and face. They tried to get impossibly close to each other, desperate and drunk.

     "Off, take these o-off..." Bo mumbled against John's lips, tugging at his pants, drawing an amused chuckle from him.

     "So impatient, Bo..." He mumbled, the younger whining indignantly, "Do it yourself if you want it that bad..."

    "Yes sir.." Burnham grumbled, grumpily getting between the older man's legs and pulling his pants and boxers off, doing the same with himself. Their shoes where long discarded by the door, or somewhere in that area. "Too fast?"

    "Not at all, hun," He ran his fingers through Bo's hair, the other leaning into the touch and getting on all fours for John, his hand slowly pumping John's member. This provoked a primal growl from the older, sending shivers down Burnham's spine, "Ever done this before?"

     "... A few times..." He murmured this, averting his eyes from John, only for his face to be tilted back to face John with a gentle hand, "It's a little gross, I didn't think I'd tell you... But here we are.. Heh..." 

     "Shush, it's not gross... You're just more experienced, huh?"

     Bo smiled, giving kitten licks and kisses to John's member with a nod, "I guess so..."

     The next two words that left John's mouth completely wrecked Burnham, not to mention caught his drunk mind off guard. 

     "Show me." To this, Bo nodded quickly, holding the base of John's cock and sucking the tip. He bobbed his head up and down his shaft, not able to fit all of it, so he stroked the bit he couldn't fit. "That's it... Fuck, Bo..."

     Something about hearing the senior comedian groan his name made whatever sexual tension they had going on go straight to Bo's dick. He allowed himself a moan, slightly gagging when he took a little too much into his mouth. "Wait, Bo, get off for a second.."

     "Yes..?" He sat up, precum dribbling down his chin, "I did something wrong, didn't I?"

     "Nope, not at all, come here." He gestured to his face, Burnham's face flushing at the thought. "What's the word? Oh that's right, sit on my face."

     "God it's so hot when you say my lyrics..." He muttered, leaning down and kissing him, pulling away after a moment and positioning him self over John's face, glad he was clean. "Sixty-nine?"

     "Sixty-nine.." He nodded, holding the younger man's hips and sliding a spit-slick finger inside of him. A choked moan left Bo as he leaned down, wrapping his mouth tightly around John's cock, resting his hands on his thighs and bobbing his head up and down it. 

     "That's it, just like that, Burnham.." He murmured, pumping his finger quickly in and out of him, the younger whining and moaning around his cock. "Haven't been touched in a while, I see..." John smirked, pushing another finger inside of Bo, the younger gasping, his jaw going slack around John's cock. John laughed low, twisting his fingers inside of him and listening to the mewl that left Burnham's mouth and vibrated through his body. This caused him to tilt his head back and groan, pulling his fingers out of him and leaning his head forward, spreading Bo's cheeks and flicking his tongue over his hole.

     Bo shivered, closing his eyes tightly and sucking firmly on John's member, relishing in the feeling of the tongue sliding over his entrance, and teasingly pushing the tip in. Suddenly it was sheathed completely inside of him, curling and shifting in him. That, mixed with the feeling of being gagged with a cock and John's lips sucking lightly around his entrance, made Bo want to cum then and there. Though, he didn't, he just pulled off his member, leaning his cheek against his thigh and panting.

     "A-... Ah... John... Stop teasing, ple-ase... I  _need_ you..." He begged, his nails digging into the sheets as John pulled his tongue out with a filthy, wet 'pop.'

     "I dunno... Convince me..." He rubbed his thumb over Bo's entrance, feeling pretty smug with himself when Bo keened, pressing his ass back against the digit.

     "John... J-John, I can't take it... Please... Please, just fuck me..." He murmured, mewling when the tip of Mulaney's thumb pressed into him lightly.

     "... Good, get a comfortable position." *Bo got up, leaning on the dresser and propping one knee onto the top of it. Looking back at John and leaning on his forearms, putting himself on display for him. "Oh, from the back?"

     John chuckled, standing up and standing behind the younger man, carefully lining up with his entrance. "I'm gonna take it slow for you... Just to get used to it..."

    "Okay..." He rested his face in his forearms, gritting his teeth when John finally pushed in, holding Bo's hips tightly, "O-Oh Jesus..." He muttered, biting the back of his hand.

     "It'll get better..." John whispered, seating himself completely inside of Burnham and letting him adjust. After a few moment, Bo nodded and John picked up a steady pace into the younger, groaning softly.

     "God, you're so big..!" He whimpered, reaching back with one hand and resting it on John's hip, "John, it hurts..." He breathed out, biting his arm repeatedly to distract himself.

     "It's gonna get better... Just relax..." He rubbed his back, shifting the angle of his thrusts and finally hitting Bo's prostate. He cried out, biting his arm harder and moaning against the skin there. "Right here?" John repeatedly hit his prostate, Bo nodding wildly and taking his teeth off his arm.

     "Yes! Yes, right! There!" Burnham raised himself up, wrapping his arms around Mulaney's neck and exposing the rest of his body to him. The older grunted with every fast thrust, wrapping his arm around Bo's waist and jerking him off with his other hand. "Gonna c-cum, gonna cum! Ah, ah! John! Cumming, cumming, cumming!" He hissed loudly, his whole body twitching as he came on the dark oak of the dresser.

     "Fu-ck, you're so tight..." He gasped out, biting his neck and climaxing deep inside of Bo. The other man collapsing on the dresser and panting heavily. He was vaguely aware of John pulling out, moaning quietly when a damp rag was pressed against him moments later, cleaning him up softly. Bo was honestly surprised at the treatment, even more so the feeling of John clumsily picking him up and carrying him to bed. Dropping him onto it and laying next to him.

     "That was great..." He mumbled, tracing circles on John's chest contently. John nodded in agreement, already starting to pass out. Bo was out of it before John even got to tell him to get some rest.

     "Goodnight, kid..." 


End file.
